Out of Boredom Comes Blogs.

So, I've basically been sitting on my butt all summer. Not what I planned. I'm free for the first time in my life. Sure, I've got two bratty little sisters to babysit, but I have free access (to me, at least) to a babysitter who loves them. And has a pool. I was supposed to use this summer to slim down, lose weight so I could be beautiful and popular in college. But no! I have a computer! Why be physically active when StumbleUpon is calling? Responsibility is a beautiful thing like that.

Anyways, I've been putting a lot of things off this summer. Getting a regular (and logical) sleeping habit, eating healthier, reading more, writing a lot, preparing for the parentlessness unknown that is the Freshman Year. But, the beauty of doing nothing that you plan is...well..nothing. I basically just had a lot of time to think. And think I did. I thought of so many things that freaked me out about school that I almost had myself talked out of going. I almost talked myself out of doing something that I've been dreaming about since I knew what school was. I mean, college is a big investment. Four years and over a hundred thousand dollars. And I don't even know what my major is going to be. But, I know that if I don't go, I'll never forgive myself, nor will I ever do anything other than live at home mooching off my parents and leaking money out of my savings. I'm not a motivated person. I'm really excited to start a new life, don't get me wrong. But at the same time, I'm terrified that I'll fail.

I've never really been outside this small town that I live in, and I don't know what life will be like in the world. I know I'm not prepared to go headfirst into the unknown, and that is almost completely my fault. I know that coming from a small town and attending a small university isn't helping my city-phobia, but darn it, I don't like the bigness and impersonality of the urban life. And, seriously, cities scare the crap out of me. The only city I've been to and been semi-comfortable in was Toronto. But, I was only there for two days, stayed in the suburbs, and stayed on the fringes of the city.

I think what scares me the most about cities is the diversity. I know that probably makes me sound like a racist or white supremist or something, but bear in mind that I'm from a town and school that had less than two percent diversity. And the entire Asian population of the school was one girl in my senior class. Anywho, I think diversity scares me because I've never really experienced it. And my only exposure to other cultures comes from the local news and media. The news stations are in a nearby city, and all they talk about is murder, theft, assaults, and the like. I know they only do it to get viewers, but they really know how to put a negative spin on the world we live in. And rap music. Don't even get me started. I know not all (searching for an appropriate word...) Black (that works) people are like that, but the majority that I've talked to and encountered have used the African-American vernacular, and honestly, it's extremely annoying. I mean, what is the point in first-language English speaking people mispronouncing English words just to sound cool? Know what? It sounds extremely uneducated. I can't even comprehend the reasoning behind someone doing that. It's beyond me.

All ranting aside, I really wish to make this a continuing habit. I want to continue writing and writing well, so ( I know, I'm fishing for comments, but dang it, this is my first entry!) let me know what I can improve upon. Or give me a topic. Or both. Or whatever your heart desires.